my mom didn’t believe in lying to children so when I first asked about santa claus as a small child she was like “oh santa claus is another name for a man named saint nicholas who lived a long time ago. he was a very kind and generous man and he loved giving people presents and he would do things like put presents in people’s stockings when they were hung up to dry by the fire, so they would find them and be surprised. so now when we give presents at christmas it’s fun to pretend saint nicholas or ‘santa claus’ brings them. and we hang up stockings by the fire and when we get up in the morning there are presents in them, just like if saint nicholas was still alive to bring them!”
so that thanksgiving one of my uncles said jovially “so mac, are you being good for santa claus?” and little (not quite three year old) mac looked up and raised an eyebrow and said witheringly “he’s dead.”
A Checklist Of Possible Reasons I Am Upset, To Review When I Can’t Seem To Figure It Out:
did not eat
new hyperfixation and no time for it
have not done a creative in 24 hrs
Bad Sounds
clothes are touching my body
cold
people
one (1) comment is stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel
last time I drank water was ??????
nervous nervous nervous nervous
got a Slightly Worse grade than expected
last hug was ??????
slept a full 45 minutes
lonely …………
guts are shredding (again)
have not seen sunlight in 24 hrs
stuck inside
too much screen time
Yay Overwhelm
room is disaster area
have not talked to Person in a while
bored
imposter phenomenon (again)
no current routine
how long have I been working???
Too Much Socialization
and then. and THEN. I may consider:
something is actually wrong
Ye I’m printing this and putting a checklist on my wall
Checklist of specific actions you can do to maybe help with those possible reasons:
did not eat
go eat something, if no energy/executive ability/else eat ingredients. no need to make a full meal, any food is good
new hyperfixation and no time for it
rotate concepts/blorbos in head. prime yourself for excitement once you’re able to engage with hyperfixation
have not done a creative in 24 hrs
go do a creative. any kind, no matter how small or unrefined, is gonna feel wonderful
Bad Sounds
headphones, find somewhere quiet or replace with good sounds (I play brown noise in supermarkets to not get overwhelmed)
clothes are touching my body
if at home - change into sensorily safe clothes, if outside with no means of change - try to find a different sensory element to focus on. I stim with my neckless to distract my brain with a fun sound and well known texture. alternatively: find a not busy toilet stall and just take off an article of clothing for a few minutes.
cold
safety blanket, hoodies, tea with spices, hot shower, hot water bottle/compress
people
find a quiet place. if an excuse is necessary, say you have a very important phone call (i generally say a medical appointment), it should buy you 10 mins of relative peace.
one (1) comment is stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel
people often lash out due to insecurity, misplaced emotions, and no coping skills. they can also be callous and unfair without realising it. none of those reasons involve you, therefore, shouldn’t matter much. try and pick that kernel out with positive feedback and constructive criticism that can help you grow.
last time I drank water was ??????
go drink water, but if you can’t, any beverage other than alcohol and seawater will do. all drinks have water in them and will help hydrate you.
nervous nervous nervous nervous
tense your whole body as much as you can for a bit and then relax. this tip very much works, i use it whenever i find myself chased by the very slow tigers.
got a Slightly Worse grade than expected
is this grade gonna have a permanent impact on your life? 99/100 no. Sometimes we mess up and that’s alright. your worth as a person isn’t based on your gpa.
last hug was ??????
go hug someone. if there’s no one available to hug, hug yourself. pet your own head, draw patterns on your arms, put your hands on the opposite sides of your face. the feeling is close enough to help you in the moment.
slept a full 45 minutes
sleep. its the most important of step of actually feeling better. if you can’t sleep, even laying with eyes closed with reduced stimulation is very beneficial to your brain.
lonely …………
talk to people. best in real life but if that’s not doable in the moment, text people. if thats also not an option, i genuinely suggest getting on voice chats on discord.
guts are shredding (again)
meds as advised by a medical practitioner, make sure you drank enough water and that you ate enough food. Chicken soup is easy to make and a polish grandma’s classic for an upset stomach.
have not seen sunlight in 24 hrs
go outside for a short walk. try and find a cool leaf/rock/trinket. sit on an outside bench and play a game on your phone. if too little energy for that, sit in the sunniest place in your home, or sit just outside your home.
stuck inside
sadly I can’t help much with that. focus on the thought that you’ll be out at some point.
too much screen time
try to read a book, try some arts and crafts, put on music and look for a non-virtual activity. write down a recipe on paper and cook something for later.
Yay Overwhelm
stim stim stim stim. channel the energy to settle it down
room is disaster area
start with the bed. have it be your safe break spot. then deal with dirty dishes. then take out any waste. then put the laundry in a place you designated for it. just by giving yourself a safe sleeping environment and getting rid of any bio hazards, you improved your situation by a mile. take as many breaks as you feel like, while in the moment the task may seem completely overwhelming, you are completely capable of doing this. break down your tasks to the smallest steps and you’ll be fine.
have not talked to Person in a while
talk to Person. they probably want to talk to you too
bored
go on a wikipedia deep dive. watch a documentary about a subject you’re unfamiliar with. when was the last time you tried writing a limerick? all brains require adequate stimulation, especially adhd brains. approach a new subject with trained curiosity.
imposter phenomenon (again)
while it may feel like sometimes we’re not skilled enough to be in a certain space, other people are not that dumb. if you weren’t supposed to be there, you wouldn’t be. if you’re the least skilled in a field, then you’re surrounded by people from whom you can learn. if thoughts are too stubborn for that strategy, switch it over into glee that you managed to trick everyone even though youre unqualified. check you out, you mastermind of social engineering! if that also doesn’t work, think about how often people get into a position that they very much aren’t qualified for. one more person isn’t going to collapse society.
no current routine
create a micro routine! go somewhere at regular times. designate a time for meeting people/hobbies/activities. go through motions as if you had a typical routine.
how long have I been working???
stand up, go get some water and a snack, stretch: back, neck, wrists. look at something far away for a minute to reduce eye strain. if after bedtime - work can wait. i know it can be tempting to keep working while the motivation is there but by exhausting yourself you’re gonna make your executive dysfunction worse. most of the time its a marathon, not a sprint.
Too Much Socialization
take time to decompress. change plans if necessary. Too Much Socialization is an issue even neurotypicals experience. its perfectly normal.
Every step towards feeling better is a good step. Even small ones will make you feel better than before!
may i also add
- haven’t taken a shower in a while/ feel yucky and gross in general
Take a shower. Doesn’t have to be a long, fancy, or intense shower; it can be as simple and quick as you need it to be.
Ask yourself what is the bare minimum you have to do to feel clean?
Whatever your answer is – do that.
Usually (at least for myself) I end up doing my regular routine in the shower because once I’m in the shower it’s harder not to go through the majority of my cleaning routine.
If a full shower is just too much for you - washing your face can also help (soap and water will be perfectly fine, serious soap and water won’t hurt you face) or wiping down your body and face with wipes or a damp towel.
Using dry shampoo (if that works for you hair type) and brushing your hair can also help in feeling cleaner.
Put on a clean change of clothes after washing yourself up.
Also brushing your teeth can be a huge help in feeling less yucky.
I have regular toothpaste but I personally find Bite Toothpaste (which has a less minty flavor than my regular toothpaste) to be very helpful in this case. For me, it feels like less of a commitment or as big of a task when I use it. It just feels like the easier or “lazier” way to do, which allows me to do it.
Also I can eat and drink something afterwards without that gross minty flavor, which again feels like less of a commitment to me - as I don’t have to plan to not eat or drink 30 min to 1 hour after brushing my teeth.
Or just wet a toothbrush and brush your teeth like that.
- Haven’t been productive and feel bad about it
I would suggest setting up a small, simple physical task that you can easily do; like picking something off the ground and throwing it out, rearranging something, moving something back to its proper place, cleaning off a physical “counter” space or sweeping/dust busting a specific area in your room.
These are just suggestions, as you know yourself far better than I know you.
The main point is setting a small and easy task that you CAN finish and than doing that. Big goals and ambitions are not important here and in fact more likely to be counterproductive.
The point is to make yourself feel better; completely a task will accomplish that and not finishing a task or being overwhelmed by a big goal, won’t make you feel better.
In fact, it’ll likely make you feel worse and then you’ll be even less motivated.
Start out easy and if that’s all you did – GREAT!! You did it!
If you end up doing more - GREAT!!! You should feel super proud of yourself!
Usually, at least in my personal experience, it’s easier to keep going once you start, especially in comparison to finding the motivation to start in the first place.
Also, it doesn’t have to be a physical task – I just find a physical task makes me feel the most accomplished; but do whatever works for you.
You can set a goal of reading for 5 min/pages or writing for 5 min or whatever else you can think of.
The point is to give yourself something you can easily do that you personally consider to be a productive action and then do said action/task.
obviously im of the belief that labelling food abd the ingredients it contains as clearly as possible is really good practice, and i highly approve of it
but the specific sense of comedy thats invoked in you when you look at a dish that is almost entirely a certain ingredient and theres a little sign next to it that reads “THIS ITEM CONTAINS [INGREDIENT]” is something that cannot be ignored
little sign next to a tray of salmon fillets: THIS ITEM CONTAINS FISH
me, under my breath: yeah brother i sure hope it does
The milk cartoon stating “This Product Contains Milk” always makes me giggle
One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands
Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double
So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him
Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro
I remember reading a study where researchers realized that female birds of a certain species preferred males with a darker breast. So they created what they literally called a “Super-Sexy Male” by catching a male and coloring his chest with a marker. They then ran dna tests on the eggs in the area.
Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.
After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.
This is just insane to me. Just imagine you’re living your bird life when suddenly somebody scribbles on Dave’s chest and the ladies can’t stop throwing themselves at them. It’s stupid that we theoretically can wreck this kind of havoc on an ecosystem.
tom hardy saying he feels at odds with his status as a male action hero bc he feels “intrinsically feminine” is miles and miles more gender fuckery than anything harry styles has done in his entire career
boyband boy could never effortlessly be this
The full quote (asked if he had sex with men):
“Of course I have. I’m an actor for fuck’s sake. I’ve played with everything and everyone. I love the form and the physicality, but now that I’m in my thirties, it doesn’t do it for me. I’m done experimenting but there’s plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man, especially gay men, that I need in my life. A lot of gay men get my thing for shoes. I have definite feminine qualities and a lot of gay men are incredibly masculine. A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it. I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”
“if no art makes you feel anything, make your own art and feel something” is too raw of a line to have come from a jenna marbles video of her painting a rainbow/polka dot seahorse saying “it’s seahorse time” on a denim jacket
Why do you people feel profound thought has to come from high places? The gutter looks at the stars too
not only did you prove your point, but you showed an example of it in the same sentence
